At this point in my life, I’ve been living with a diagnosis of MS (aka the MonSter) for a significantly long time. Throughout the years, I’ve experienced a lot of the common symptoms like pain, numbness, weakness, fatigue, cognitive dysfunction, and depression.
All of this has made me feel much older than I actually am. But saying I feel old isn’t best way to describe how I often feel. No, there’s another word for it, one that even fit during my early days with the disease. Broken. Well, I kind of am broken, right? It’s pretty easy to see why I feel this way...MS is a disease... DIS EASE or not at ease.
It causes my immune system to attack my own body. That’s not the way the immune system is supposed to function. My body is broken. The break of my immune system has led to and continues to lead to more breaks throughout my nervous system, leading to problem after problem.
These days, it feels like every part of me is broken. Physically, my body just isn’t what it used to be. It’s also not what it’s supposed to be, at least not like others my age who do not deal with disease. My legs, arms, eyes, brain, just about my entire body, feel broken. That’s not all though, all those breaks have led to something else that often, not always, but often feels broken: my spirit.
I'M JUST SAYIN'...
😢😙
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