Not all breaks are physical. Feeling that you’re broken and need fixing is horrible, especially when you know there is no real way of fixing what is broken.
We live in a world where comparing ourselves to others is the easiest it’s ever been. Social media and technology have made it extremely easy to see everyone at their best at any moment of the day. It’s impossible not to make comparisons. It’s not solely about measuring ourselves against others though. There is that feeling of being broken. A feeling that your body and mind just aren’t working the way they should. You feel that even without measuring yourself against others, you feel that when you are alone. You feel that something just isn’t right, something isn’t how it should be. I wish I could say this was only because I compare myself to others. For me, the biggest issue is comparing myself to the person I used to be. The woman who had a career, was a single mom, someone who could drive & loved to do so, someone who served others - within her Church and other places as well, and who, at times, now stumbles just trying to get to the bathroom in time.
Fighting a chronic illness day in and day out is mentally exhausting. It gets old pretty quickly. Trying to live as you once did, trying to live as everyone else around you expects you to, is difficult. Thinking about it is even more difficult. It can be a constant fight to keep your mind straight and happy, a fight you will absolutely lose on many occasions. That mental fight to keep it all together is every bit as exhausting as any other part of the disease. That mental exhaustion takes its toll and amplifies that broken feeling.
I'M JUST SAYIN'...
You are WONDERFUL!!! 😙
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