Thoughts on chronic disease

For many, living with a chronic disease like Multiple Sclerosis, can feel like the disease consumes you. Depending on how long you’ve had it and the severity of your symptoms, it begins to feel like it leaches into every minute part of your existence. Not only in the way you physically feel, or in the difficulties you face, but in what you see, how you see yourself, and, definitely, in the way people treat you. MS can be this all-encompassing entity that begins to soak up everything around you, tainting it, leaving you with constant reminders about the change in your life. MS is EVERYWHERE!!

It's nearly impossible to not focus on my disease. After all, the disease never leaves me. After time, even many of my symptoms never leave me. I am left with physical reminders, even if they happen to be invisible. Fatigue, pain, weakness in my extremities, problems talking, and difficulty even thinking are constant issues that prevent me from ever forgetting that I am fighting a disease. (Let's not even get into what all this does to my dear daughter and me emotionally.)

Not only does my body remind me, but well-meaning friends are also guilty of this. Constant inquires about how I  am feeling, why I'm not "better yet", or why I haven’t been in touch or been to place "xyz", and the whole "out of sight, out of mind" mentality  serve as reminders that I am different than others...and my life is much different than I wish.  If all of that wasn't enough, even the places I look for help, like social media and the community that comes along with it, while normally helpful, can make it near impossible to get away from my disease.

There are no vacation days...I cannot leave it home or temporarily toss it aside to pick up later when it's more convenient.

But...I am not a victim to the disease.
It is MY disease...I have it, it doesn't have me! I AM A MS WARRIOR!!

I'm just sayin' 😊