Speech and MS pt. 3

On the flipside, there are times where I feel like I am forming thoughts into sentences in my head just fine, but I just can’t physically say them. I can’t adequately articulate what is right there; I know what I'm saying but what I hear my voice say is somehow "off". This feels like a muscle issue to me.

I would say the best example of where this problem first started for me was a couple years ago, when I started noticing that I had a lisp, and then had a hard time saying certain sounds. It was like my tongue was just super out of shape and could no longer perform the verbal acrobats needed to pronounce certain words, especially words with multiple syllables or several words together with similar sounds. As a result of my tongue “being out of shape,” it would just trip over itself when trying to pronounce the most basic of words. Even reading out loud things I've read a dozen times now can sound like jibberish.

So, I simply avoid trying to form words that I know I will have trouble with; but, now, I am noticing that I will start to slur even the most basic words and syllables causing me to sound almost drunk. This is what really gets me, because it feels like someone clamped something to my tongue preventing me from being able to enunciate each syllable nice and clearly. It’s SO frustrating!

Sometimes this makes me feel “trapped,” like I know what I want to say in my head, but I just can’t say it. Others cannot imagine how emotionally devastating this all is for me. Sometimes feeling like I can’t form coherent speech makes me want to just break down. I'm really am a well-educated woman; I just do not sound like one anymore.

But, I am trying to stay positive, remembering that, at least for now, I can speak...even if it feels to me as if I cannot speak very well.

I'm just sayin' 😶